i recently returned from a women’s retreat where the topic of friendship was discussed. I found it fitting since this week we would be talking about how she is your friend.
friendship is a subject in my life i struggle with. I trust too much, not enough, I am overly friendly, not friendly enough, i give too much, i only take, i call, i don’t answer, and the list goes on. I really feel the Lord has laid friendship on my heart a lot lately. and what does a biblical fried look like. not only to better the friendships in my life but all model that for my tween who is having her own friend issues.
During our retreat our wonderful speaker shared something that really hit home to me. She said “who are your 4 friends?” Who are your 4 friends that in your desperate time of need will carry your gurney? when she was visiting overseas she was told that everyone needs 4 people to carry the 4 corners of the gurney if they were ill. and if you were lucky those friends would burn the midnight oil with you, or even help pay your medical bills. I loved this visual. I thought about my own life and tried to imagine who would be carrying my gurney. You see i have lots of friends. But not a lot of gurney carrying friends. I want to change that.
One way we can deepen our friendships is to share our struggles with them. not only should we share what we need accountability with but we need to share our “triggers”. You friends need to know what little signs to look for to help you get our of the quick sand before you sink. This is not always pretty and defiantly not easy. but it’s worth it.
Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
Proverbs 24:5 A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might,
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
when Paul told the Ephesians to “speak the truth in love” in Ephesians 4:15, i believe that he was calling to hold our friends to a higher standard. that we are to raise the bar high for our friends. we need to be honest with them, and they with us.
we need to be told the truth.
We need to be told when we’ve offended someone.
We need to be told when we’ve made mistakes.
We need to be told the truth when we are about to make bad decisions.
A true friend, “speaking the truth in love” will risk being liked in order to help you.
the last thing i want to leave you with today is something i seek in friends. Our speaker this weekend talked about “shingle rippers”. who are the friends in your life that will climb on your house and rip the shingles down to get to you when you are hiding and following a sinful path? I want those friends. I am desperately seeking shingles rippers in my life.
who are your 4 friends? are there able to speak the truth to you even when it hurts? are they willing to rip shingles to get to you? have they set the bar high for you?
listen carefully to the words of Sara Groves as she shares about her friendships.
you can catch up on previous she is posts by clicking the image above!
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