Friday coffee date letter

Friday-coffee-date

Hey friends, I am so glad you are here today. I kind of have a lot to talk about.
I couldn’t get myself to vlog this morning so I thought I would write you a Friday coffee date letter instead

Let’s pray:
Dear heavenly Father, forgive me. Forgive me for not seeking you more this week. Forgive me for not coming to you, for not spending time with you. Lord I am so unsure of what is going on that it makes you seem so far away. Please Father, reveal yourself to me. Show me you are in this with me. Amen

If you were here for coffee right now I would tell you I hope you like your coffee black. We have been out of creamer for about 6 days now. I know, how in the world? And no I have not had any coffee since last Saturday. Yes, that explains my week long headache. And don’t worry I am about to fix that this morning.

If you were here for coffee right now I would tell you that our entire family is finally done throwing up. This stomach bug was not nice to us. Thankfully it was a 1-2 day thing per person but when it goes through 5 people at different times, it makes for a long week. And don’t worry I used lots of Lysol and Clorox wipes. Yup, the chemical, non-natural, probably not safe kind.

If you were here for coffee right now I would tell you that the weather is being bipolar again. That on Monday and Tuesday I had the central air running all day and this morning as I am writing this I noticed the heat has kicked on. Not cool, not cool. Well actually it is cool that’s why the heat turned on but you get my point.

If you were here for coffee right now, you may feel the very large elephant in the room. I would continue the small talk until you asked me what is going on. Then the flood gates would open and the words and tears would start flowing. Make sure you are prepared for that before asking…

*giving you a minute to think before you ask*

…and obviously you asked so here we go.
Have you ever wondered what depression looks like?

Sometimes it looks like smiles, laughter, crafting, praying, bible reading, friends over, coffee dates, wiww posts…
it looks like me.

And sometimes it looks like lying in bed all day, not changing out of my pj’s, not showering, not calling friends, not answering texts, ignoring social media, obsessive cleaning, or not cleaning; sometimes it looks like 19 episodes of greys anatomy in 2 days during nap time

it looks like me

Friends, this last month has been a struggle for me. The worst part of the struggle is that I can not pin point the problem. I am not feeling suicidal, or like I am about to jump off the deep end. I am just feeling buried. Like I am under a big mess and I can not clean myself out of it.

I feel heavy. I feel distant. I feel overwhelmed. I feel confused. I feel alone. I feel lost.

Hebrews 13:5 nlt

I feel like Satan is filling me with anxiety, worry and fear. I feel like I am trying to find God but it’s so foggy I can not see him. I can’t find his hand. I am to blame for part of that. I have not reached out to Him like I should. I have not asked Jesus to meet with me this week, this month. I have not set aside time for just him. I can’t, I can’t seem to force myself to pray, to read, or to be still.

If you were here for coffee you may be reaching for your phone. You may be afraid for me and think you need to call the people with the white jackets to whisk me away. Let me assure you it’s not like that. I am not “really” alone. I feel like it but I know I am not. I have reached out to a group of women that are praying for me, speaking truth to me, loving me, and being Jesus to me.

If you were here for coffee I would smile with you, I would laugh with you and I would definitely hug you. Those would all be real. And I would appreciate you bringing that out of me. That’s the crazy part of depression. It does not make sense. It is not easy to figure out and it’s unpredictable.

Friend if you were here for coffee I would ask you to pray, in the name of Jesus that whatever is attacking would leave, that you would demand it in the name of Jesus to be cast out, that you pray that I would be filled with God’s love and peace. And that I would feel normal again. Well as normal as I can feel, Ha

If you were here for coffee I would have to tell it’s time to leave. The kids need to get to school. I will see you later friend. Xoxo

stay tuned because Tuesday I want to share with you some great advice i received on how to help overcome my depression. or at least the symptoms of it. 

© 2013, Chrissy@thePearlblog This post may contain affiliate links. Purchasing through them will help support this blog.. All rights reserved.

About Chrissy@thePEARLblog

Sinner turned saint. Lover of Jesus. DIY crafter. Mom of 3. Blogger. Friend. married to her high school sweetheart. I blogs to share about the things I love. My hope is that my love for crafting, Jesus, family, and food will inspire you to try something new. If you enjoy what you read, don’t forget to subscribe to my blog!

Comments

  1. Walking 30 minutes a day has been shown as effective as SSRIs for depression in many studies. Low dietary levels of Vitamin D and Omega-3 Fatty Acids may also increase depression in some patients. I prescribe a daily walk, a multivitamin, and a fish oil supplement with DHA and EPA.

    Depression is nothing to be embarrassed about- most adults will experience it to some degree in their lifetimes. Good Luck!

  2. Listen….can you hear God whispering these words?
    “So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Is. 41:10)

    You are loved, Chrissy. Praying God will lift the fog for you.

  3. Praying for you, sweet friend!

  4. Oh sweet friend. Praying for you today. These seasons are so hard and even in a room full of people it’s so easy to still feel alone. Praying our Maker will give you peace and comfort and for friendships that can come alongside you and encourage you through this. xo
    Alissa recently posted..Coffee DateMy Profile

Trackbacks

  1. […] you missed our coffee date last week then you may want to catch up before reading this post.  Then read part one of how I am […]

  2. […] I shared with you during our coffee date about what I have been […]

share your thoughts...