my head is so full right now. i am having a hard time processing. one way i feel like i can sort though my emotions is to write them out. today i am writing them out to share with you. to share my heart, my hurts, my thoughts, to share me.
the Wednesday before thanksgiving my grandfather passed away. he was diagnosed with lung and colon cancer early in the spring. for the better part of the year he did not show any real symptoms of his disease. the last month we could see some changes. He would say his “get up and go” had gone. but that still did not stop him from visiting friends, attending church, cribbage night with his buddies, and pit stops at our house to watch the little girls twirl.
my heart sank when we got that call Tuesday evening. Grandpa was unresponsive. breathing shallow slow breaths. we gathered around him, loving him, singing to him, kissing him, holding his hand, reading scripture, praying, crying, and laughing. Around 8:30 Wednesday morning he went home. he was resting in the arms of Jesus, probably dancing with Grandma Betty. Oh how he missed her. He also had a son that passed away and i know he was really looking forward to seeing him too. Grandpa had so much peace about dying. He knew where he was going, he longed to meet his maker, to sing in the choir of angels.
and still, knowing that he is in heaven, rejoicing, i am sad. I am sad to lose such a Godly role model. My grandpa was a man after God’s own heart. He has been the hands and feet of Jesus to so many. He was a blessing countless times in my life. The day he first called me HIS granddaughter (he is my husbands grandfather) is a day that will forever have a special place in my heart. it was May 18th, 2003. the day i was baptized and publicly proclaimed Jesus as my Lord and savior. That day Grandma Betty and Grandpa Walt attended my baptism. and afterwards handed me a card that read “Seeing your Grandchild baptized is one of the proudest moments for a grandparent.” Me, they chose me. I didn’t ask for it, i did not know i needed it, i certainly did not deserve it. this was my first real lesson in grace. and from that moment on grace upon grace poured from their hearts on me. I can honestly say that The Lord brought my husband into my life not only to be my husband but to give me grandparents that could teach me how to love like Christ, how to pray, how to be a woman of God.
pray with my this weekend as we celebrate Grandpa’s life that those who do not have a personal relationship with Christ will see something special in Grandpa and want to know more. that they will want what Grandpa had and that we have opportunities to share about Christ’s love.
until next time…
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